Podcast #3: Sista Chronicles #1: Lylah's Soul Journey from Darkness to Dubai
In the captivating episode, we have the pleasure of welcoming Lylah, a distinguished yoga and breathwork instructor with a richly multicultural heritage, who is currently making her home in Dubai following her recent marriage to Samir. Lylah shares her incredible journey, marked by diverse cultural experiences that have shaped her path to wellness and spiritual discovery.
Growing up as the daughter of a Puerto Rican mother and an Egyptian father in Egypt, then moving to the United States for her studies, Lylah's life has been a remarkable blend of cultures and experiences from being a teacher for children, to working for the Royal family and organizing trips to the middle east for Americans students.
Throughout the episode, Lylah discusses the transformative impact of yoga and breathwork on her life, detailing her transition from the United States to Kuwait, and eventually finding her purpose in Dahab, Egypt. Her story highlights the profound healing and self-discovery that come from truly embracing one's journey.
Transcript:
Today I'm so happy and delighted to welcome my wonderful sister friend Laila, who's at the moment based in Dubai recently since she got married basically to the wonderful Samir a couple weeks back and we wanted to introduce ourselves a bit better and deeper where we're from, what we've been through in order to also like what type of training we've been through, what type of training you've been through, what type of training I've been through in order to even like talk about certain issues we are talking about.
So Laila is a yoga teacher, breathwork teacher with very multicultural, entangled, complicated backgrounds, so many interesting cultures. So yeah today I wanted to have some room some time to talk about you and if there's a bit of time left also maybe talk about me.
So yeah let's get started. It's exciting thank you so much for having me and inviting me to be part of the podcast again. I did have an amazing time last time and I'm very excited to be on this one as well and thank you for the beautiful intro.
You are my sister and I'm so glad that we are embarking on this journey together and by journey it means like the whole journey really from beginning to end because it is hard to meet others that you have a sense of like sisterhood and alignment with especially because as you said all the things that we've been through and the training that we got from life.
So it's really really wonderful to be here and thank you for that. It was a lovely moment when you walked in at our farm. Yes, what was that like, how long ago was that maybe over, way over a year, I think.
No, I think it's like around the year because like the baby was already born and now the baby is one year in one month. Yeah, I met Reem when she was two months old. So it was 11 months ago. Okay, nice.
Very cool. Very cool. And now she's getting older and she runs and stuff. So that's amazing to see how time passes, but in the growth of another human being is so beautiful. Yeah, I walked into your house and you were making a Russian stew.
I forget what it was. Boris. Yes, Ukrainian, I mean, Ukrainian, yes, Ukrainian soup. Yes, yes, it was a Ukrainian soup and it was delicious. And it was a fun day. It was really, really fun. And it was really comforting to know that, you know, I'm about to move to the middle of where in Nueva, Egypt, and have like conscious neighbors living next door, like it was so random, because, you know, the more I try to isolate myself, the more I keep bumping into people who are on the same path.
So it's pretty cool. I think that like, that's the way to go is just to kind of like continue to narrow your focus and say, I only want this, I only want alignment, and then somehow you end up meeting people literally in the desert, you know, so it's really funny, really, really cool.
So we live, me and my husband, we live right now in Dahab. We have also a very interesting podcast episode about our little town here. And we have a regenerative farm in Nueva, which is on the Sinai Peninsula, one hour away from the border of Israel.
So just to get a sense of the geographic, geographics here. And so yeah, we met Laila, basically, she walked into our farm. And this is how our wonderful friendship started. Yes. But I wasn't like a wonder, like my husband knew your husband.
Yeah, we didn't just crash your farm. But that's also, that's also totally okay. And it happened also with other people. So I'm true. I'm not a big problem. Yeah, I make sure I bring all my friends to reform anyone that I want.
on a show like, hey, life is possible in the desert. I just have to bring them directly to your farm. Want to tell us a bit where you're from, where do you grew up? Yeah, I'll tell you a little bit about myself.
So I was born to a Puerto Rican mother and an Egyptian father in Queens, New York. And I grew up in Egypt, in fact, a few years after that, I had a very interesting story as to how I came to Egypt, but that's like for another episode.
And I grew up in Egypt, and then I moved back to the United States when I was 16. I went to my university there. I studied international relations out of everything you would think. a wellness teacher would study.
I studied in international relations with the focus on like Middle East policy. I worked in America for a bit, but it was always work that was related to the Middle East and seeing the Middle East and revisiting the Middle East.
So when I was 25, I got married for the first time and I moved to Kuwait with my ex -spouse. What? I didn't know that you were married. You didn't know that I was married before? It's a surprise on the podcast.
Not that we want to talk about my old marriage. We should celebrate the new one. I didn't know that. Oh my God. Yeah, I was married for two years. And then we separated when I was 27. I decided to actually continue working in Kuwait because at the time I had transitioned from like working in politics to like, you know, a teacher, to being a teacher.
And I decided to stay in Kuwait and work as an ex -pat teacher. And soon after I actually got the opportunity to work for the Royal Family in Kuwait, which made the incentive of staying in Kuwait even better.
And then during Corona time, I decided I want to go to Amsterdam and then Italy. And surprisingly, I found out later why the tickets to Italy were so cheap because by the time that I was trying to leave Italy, the world was basically like shutting down and no country would want me, like especially not Kuwait because I had entered Italy.
So because they, like at that time, like I would say like March, you know, 20. 2020 to like February 2020 to March 2020, countries like were basically banning anyone who came from Italy, like you were not allowed to come in.
And Kuwait was really big on that. And like Kuwait had like some insane, like measures for corona that I'm sure traumatized a lot of the citizens and people living there until now. So I couldn't go back to Kuwait and I was at a small airport in Turkey.
And as I was trying to leave this airport and go to the bigger airport so that I can go back to America, Turkey passed a law at that moment that anyone coming from Italy is not allowed in. So I was stuck in this little airport with very limited destinations that would allow me to go.
And like one of them was Egypt. So, I called my cousin who lived in Egypt and is part of the Secret Service and I'm like, hey, this is what's happening to me, you know, like no place wants me, so on.
And he's like, yeah, what is this, you know, corona thing I'm hearing about? I'm like, wow, you don't even know what corona is? Perfect. So, I booked the ticket and I went to Egypt and, you know, it was the kind of space and time where I was like, oh, this is going to end soon, I'm going to go back to my life, but it was not.
I was like in limbo for quite some time and I chose to go to Sinai like shortly after like coming to Egypt, I chose to just go to the hub and stay there until I figure out what like the future holds.
I stayed there until August, I realized I lost my job in Kuwait, obviously, rightfully so and then I started to look for jobs in Egypt, which I was able to find a job in Alexandria and that was like my last attempt at a matrixy institutional kind of job.
I worked as teacher for two years and, you know, during that time I also was teaching yoga and I established my yoga company, Found Souls Yoga Retreats and I did like yoga retreats around the country and then I decided to transition from, you know, working for an institution to working for myself and that is around the time I also met my husband.
We met because of a yoga retreat that I was leading in Nueva and I can go into that story a bit. But yeah, I met my husband and I kind of like took over the house that he had in Nueva. I stayed there alone.
focusing on myself and like regenerating my brain cells, I would say from years and years of completely neglecting myself. And shortly after we decided to get married and I got married last month and I moved to Dubai.
So it's really interesting because my first marriage brought me to the Gulf and now my second marriage also brings me back to the Gulf. So, you know, it's really interesting. The parallels are many, but why did I, and I feel like this is a really big question, like who am I and why do I talk about wellness in any like capacity?
And honestly, it's because I was a lost soul. very, very lost soul all the way up to 2018. And I was in a very dark place that I really didn't think there was a way out for me. And I had tried to commit suicide a couple of times, like, you know, sporadically throughout my life, but like around that time in, you know, 2018, I really was seeing it as the only way out because there was so much darkness that is happening in my life.
And I realized that I'm the only common person between all these dark events. So my friend who I'm like always like bombarding about like this yoga class and that yoga teacher, and I went to this yoga class and she was like, Laila, why don't you become a yoga teacher?
I'm like, ah, that's funny. I would never because I don't want to go through the training because that training is going to completely shatter me open and I don't think I'm ready for it. And she's like, no, I think you are like, you should look it up, you should, you know, check it out.
And lo and behold, I go home and I find this program and the most like serendipitous way, God just kind of puts all the puzzle pieces in the right places. And this is when I go to India and truly my whole universe shatters and completely, completely transformed.
At least the first layer of my ego is shed like within the first two weeks. And I actually, like by the second week, I called all the therapists that I was working with and fired all of them. I said that what I had gone through in the two weeks in India is way more than all the years of therapy I had been engaging in.
And that's when this path of a seeker or the bodhisattva path started where it was like, I just have to keep finding out more and more and more and more. And I honestly did not have any intention. to finish my training and go into teaching yoga.
It was more of like, for my own self knowledge. But I feel like since I have been on this path, I've been forced by a divine power to continue teaching and continue showing up for retreats and continue showing up for people, even though I did not approach any of this wellness, like with the intention to teach it to others.
It was more of like, what can I do to benefit myself? But yeah, I'll stop now because that's probably a long rant. So interesting, I didn't know many of these things. You're right. Yeah, so you hold lots of things in.
That is very true. I don't actually think... Yeah, I think that's like, I've, I've led a very, like, busy life. So it has a lot of, like, little itty -ditty pieces that I don't usually share, like, not for nothing, but it's just that the questions never come off, you know?
Yeah. Yeah. Why do you think you are? Like, why do you think that your opinion matters? Like, why do you think you bring to the table, which is, which is unique, like, or different or special or anything, really?
Well, I want to say that, like, I am very sure that my opinion does not matter. You know, that I'm sure of. I'm just a simple thing, you know, that I just, like, have happened to see through the end of the tunnel.
I think that people relate to me and, and my work because of so many aspects. And one is, you know, I'm very honest, like, with my clients and anyone who I meet in terms of, like, the journey or how dark my journey was.
And I try to really share my story, because I want people to understand that, you know, from this deep darkness comes light that you have to go through, like, not have to, but like, usually people awaken from suffering, right?
And I am like, no exception, I did awaken from my suffering. So it gives me a bit of, you know, credibility, because I am not the person who came to yoga because I'm an ex ballerina. I discovered yoga actually at age 24, because I had a herniated disc in L4, L5 that left me immobile, unable to even use the bathroom.
And that is when I first began to do like yoga movements from following a YouTuber. And that is how my journey started. So I started from a deep place of like inflexibility, a deep place of pain, a deep place of like, I would say like, you know, the like darkness of the mind was very heightened for me.
And I realized that these practices like mindfulness, awareness, presence, the Raja yoga, the eight folds of or like the eight limbs of yoga, all of which have been like so instrumental in getting me out of this darkness in a way that is like permanent even.
And I think that that has been so profound in my life as someone who truly believed in therapy and psychotherapy and like cognitive behavioral therapy for so long. I was able to come out of the other end and see that there is a whole other side to truth, to God, to existence that I was just not aware of.
I was not taught. I was not passed down this knowledge by my ancestors. And I, like rightfully so, was not attracting people who are within this field. So I feel like because of the depth of suffering, that is what gives me, you know, credit in the sense that when I say, like, this really works, people do believe me because they can relate to the darkness of the mind that I had and what they have and what I still have, of course.
But it's through the experience of going from dark to light is what kind of gives that backdrop. And another reason I believe is because I just keep going. Like, I haven't stopped since I discovered this.
I have not stopped. I haven't stopped, you know, studying, developing. And I also see myself more as a student. Like, I kind of cringe when, like, I say the word teacher because, you know, like, who am I to call myself a teacher?
So it's just like, I kind of like go on this path and I take people's hands, you know, like, with me, instead of teaching from this place of life, I know, like, I ain't shit. I don't know nothing. Any knowledge I have is completely by the grace of God.
And it is for others. It's not really for me. So yeah, that's why I believe people trust me. First of all, I think that your matters very much. I do believe that you have a very interesting, like, very valuable, very clear gift.
I mean, we had a two healing experiences together I was very sick and you helped me because I really didn't know what to do anymore I wanted to like I don't know rip out my hair I had a huge like huge tonsil infection for weeks and weeks which would not go away and I would like refuse to take antibiotics and actually though my friend took antibiotics and it used to come back after two three weeks and again it came back so I'm very happy at the end that I didn't take it and you healed me basically or you helped my body heal let's say like that some balls which was and I have done really a lot of a lot of things I have done a lot of different experiences I'm very open to healers I am always want to try out all sorts of all sorts of experiences and I must say this was probably the single most powerful healing experience I received.
And not only that I received, but also I kind of like almost like physically felt it. Like I basically felt what you did to me. Like I felt the effects. I basically like coughed it out. It was extremely powerful.
So you kind of like talk about yourself like as a yoga teacher, but honestly I think like you there's much more. And I don't know how you how you went to heal yourself so much. But I found this the ah and the second time you did a massage which also was extremely extremely effective and massages I really did a lot.
So um it was not a nice massage I must say. Was not one of those like spa you know dripping water in the background. And remember that my nanny was at home and she wanted a massage from you and then after she heard me scream she said no thank you no thank you I I'm good.
Yeah no like that was not a massage that was more like a torture session getting out the illness once and for all. I'm like it's either me or whatever is in this body. I swear it's gonna come out. But yeah no I I think the nanny thought it was like a luxury spa experience.
And she is she was like terrified to like hear you scream as I'm pushing down on your solar plexus. I'm like let it out and she's like what are they engaging in some like wizardry in the bedroom. Wow yeah no.
I think from what I heard for now what you what you've been describing like I feel you're underselling yourself a little bit especially since like I feel right now okay especially since living in Dahab also you know every third person here as a yoga teacher and so I think you're underselling yourself and of course everybody can call themselves whatever they want in my understanding of things as I see the world this is like a very powerful witch that's that's how I see this is like a woman who has special gifts who has been through quite significant trauma in order to be activating these gifts because you cannot activate them when you have not been to the darkest of places and then they've been activated you learned how to use them and And these are the gifts where you connect to the body, connect to nature, you receive the wisdom, you receive the knowledge of how to help others.
So I don't like also like the word teacher, maybe healer, obviously I call myself witch, I like it, I'm okay with this, I'm okay with this name. I know it has a very bad reputation, but part of this podcast is also a little bit to deconstruct this bad reputation, because I see, especially in the spiritual world, a lot of women are trying to rebrand themselves because they don't wanna, how to say, be associated with this word.
However, what they do is still pretty much the same thing. So yeah. No, I mean, I do agree with this idea that healing or calling someone a witch is, it's kind of like within the same frame, I feel like culturally we just, as you often mentioned how there is the big witch wound, which is like all these women that lost their lives just because they had deeper knowledge that could not be proved to the church.
And like obviously the church has had a very long history of creating suffering in this world, but I feel like because of people's limited perspective, anything that does not make sense to them, then automatically they label, oh, she's a witch.
But I feel like even if you introduce someone to the idea of, you know, breathing, you know, like differently, like, let's say, like with heart coherence, for example, and they begin to heal their own body, because their body is no longer in fight or flight, and it's like activating the sympathetic nervous system, and you heal all of a sudden without like taking any medicine.
So now it's like, Oh, this is a witch's work. But in reality, I feel like a witch or a healer is someone who just guides you in the right direction for you to heal yourself. Like, you know, I've, I've had a really interesting story, actually, that, as to how I got initiated into any of this, because, you know, I was again, like a teacher who was working nine to five, I don't care about the world, I use my money to travel and see the world and very like superficial girl in her 20s.
Um, but I, I knew that like, you know, that my, you know, grandmothers, they, um, you know, like I've had like my own, like paternal grandmother take care of me in so many ways, using herbs and using, uh, like old ways of healing.
Um, and a lot of things would just come naturally to me. Like the first time I saw Sage ever in my life, I decided I want to burn it. You know, like I had no idea what it was. I had no idea why, and I just, I, I burnt it and I kept walking around the corners of the house and saying prayers on my Godmother is just like watching me and she's like, who taught you how to do this?
And I was like, uh, like, no one, I just felt that this is the right thing. And then she starts to show me the right way or like a way of like burning Sage. And she's like exactly what you did. And I have no idea how you figured this out.
And like so many other examples of that. Um, I mean, like when it came to like sound healing, for example, I've always been interested in sound. I love music and so on. When I got the sound bowls, like for the first time, and I had no proper training or anything, right?
I am watching just like some people do it live and I'm like, Oh, it's so cool. It's so interesting. But I get on the sound bowls. And it's like, there's this deep knowledge, deep wisdom of like, it's a place I've been here so many times before, right?
And like, it's like, it feels so natural. And then literally within a week, people from the, the like opera house and Cairo walk into my house. And these people, I don't know, they're, you know, friends of a friend.
How can they walk in like with a violin and they walk in like with a cello and out of, I don't know what like inspiration they, they completely give me a full on training. with like music theory and sound theory and we're tuning the bowls to a cello and we're doing like a violin cello sound bowl like symphony in the living room and I'm like how is this even possible right and then immediately they leave and I'm like okay I figured out the theory and like I combine it like with the pranic healing that I also do and it's just like my own intuitive you know like like knowledge that I need to move energy from a stuck place to this place to this chakra and come and cleanse this and it surprisingly works you know like even like when I'm doing it I don't have this like confidence like oh it's going to work it's like it's just like God has put me in this moment to do this work it works it works it doesn't I have no attachment to the outcome but the response has been that it's working so That's a good thing, and your feedback about these sessions is pretty awesome and powerful, and I thank you for that.
Yeah, it was absolutely extraordinary. And actually it makes also sense that you are being sent help, because you actually, from what I understand, not you, January witches, they have paid their karmic debts.
They basically paid upfront for the experiences of being healers in this life and not be persecuted. So it makes a lot of sense that if you do one step into the right direction, God will send you thousands of steps from the other places to help you and support you in order to be able to do what you want to do and support the people.
So I totally see why professional musicians came into your house and helped you tune your samples because you just got them, because your intention wasn't the right place. I just wanted to say something which got stuck for me from before that you did so many years of therapy.
I also did a lot of many, many years of therapy, and I'm actually at a point where I would say that I think that there is more negative effects on therapy than positive, honestly. I think the sheer way of sitting down every week and talking about your problems, I think the problem about it is mainly the talking about the problems and also the talking first and about the problems second.
I think the problem is about two things, that you sit and talk. I think just talking is not a very good output for these traumas which are blockages in your body to be resolved. I think there's just so many other ways which work much better, much faster, and much more, how to say.
But there is a certain aspect of you that you need to talk it out somehow. However, sitting down every week and talking about what's shitty about your life, I think is actually doing more bad than good.
Especially for young people, I feel, and children. I don't see how this is supposed to... I mean, at the end of the day, of course, my slowly awakening was maybe initiated by therapy. And it's okay that if you're coming from the mainstream world, the first probably...
the first thing you do is probably therapy because this is like the only thing which like you know from the from the spiritual world which is kind of acceptable although it's not really spiritual it's actually just another arm of the industrial medicinal complex of just making people pay for something they don't really need to pay it's extremely expensive therapy and and there's also wrong intention that there's monetary intention from the therapist to let you keep coming because because when is the therapist gonna say that's it like you don't need to come anymore you know so everything which has a very clear intention it goes so slow the progress takes years and very often there's no progress because the healer the therapist themselves are not healed so they basically just let you run in circles for years and I and I and I heard it so often that after a couple years of therapy so many of my friends said that my first therapy my second therapy I was just going in circles for for years and paying every and paying every week hundred hundred fifty dollars for that so I don't know I actually came to a point where I do not think that therapy is a good way of of doing any type of spiritual self betterment work and about you also mentioned ancestral trauma and that nobody like taught you how ancestral knowledge ancestral knowledge yes but also like it kind of relates to me because you've been talking about trauma you've been talking about how hurt you've been dark place and so on so um at the end of the day I think that one of the main main um how to say main storylines of your life life is to try to heal as much ancestral trauma as possible because if you don't then like your kids are just going to be repeating the things you are doing in your life like the challenges you had because there's just so many levels of how you're imprinting this trauma of your ancestors on your kids like energetically through through our morphic field basically like the same way like there's a energetic way of how we communicate with each other with how we communicate with our ancestors how animals communicate with other animals and how also plants communicate so there is a way of how we communicate so this is a way that we know like that we get the trauma from our ancestors imprinted on us as well as also behavior, you know, like, honestly, like, just on a very immediate way, like, my, for example, I don't know, my, my, my mom was abandoned, you know, and if she doesn't work through her abandonment issues, then she's gonna abandon me too.
And I gonna have to, um, I'm gonna have to work through that, like, someone needs to break the circle, because otherwise, it's just gonna keep being transferred to the next generation. Yeah. So, of course, nobody, yeah, nobody tells us about that.
Nobody, I honestly, I don't even know anything about my ancestors, really, like, I don't know anything beyond, beyond my grandparents, and the only thing I know about my great, great -grandmother, great -great -grandmother, is actually that she was a witch.
This, this I, this is the only thing also my mother knows about her. And that she was able to turn milk sour, like, in front of your eyes. And, um, but this is the only thing, like, it's so funny, like, I keep trying to understand from my mom, like, get information, and, and it's so funny how they didn't talk to each other, like, like, how much, how little she knows about her own mother, how little she knows about what was going on within the family, how little she knows about anything, like, really, nobody talked to her, nobody, like, cared to explain or her anything, really, of what's going on.
I feel the same, same goes also for my dad, like, how little he knows what was really going on in my grandparents' lives. Yeah, I mean, um, like, tracing back to, I feel like inquiry comes when there is, like, mental space for it, right?
So, in order to have that curiosity about the generations or curiosity about your own self, it needs a little space in your mind, it needs some mental clarity and I would like generalize and say that the past generations, you know, as close as our parents were very unawakened and very preoccupied with survival and if they weren't surviving or they didn't feel the need to survive, they still stayed in the survival mentality of like, you know, like very high elevated levels of like cortisol and short breath and breathing from your mouth and uh, perpetuating the same cycles over and over again.
Um, and they had a very low baseline in terms of like, what is it that they didn't want to pass as their, uh, like generational trauma? Like, and you know, I, I hear this often, uh, from a lot of parents around me.
It's like, Oh, like if I had treated you like my, uh, like that used to treat me. It's like, yeah, bro, like you might have not done the physical acts that were done on you, but you still carry the anger you still carry.
There's that many still show it to me. And I feel like a lot of our parents are also stuck in this way where they're like a victim in their mind of like, I had to endure so much and I did not pass it on to you and you got to have a better life than me.
But it's like, um, I feel like the generational trauma is in these like stuckness, the ways that they're stuck, the ways that they are triggered. I feel like a very easy way to, to, to learn about our ancestors or this is how at least I'm learning about mine because I also like you, I don't have a lot of it passed down to me from my, uh, you know, from my parents.
I do know more about my father's side of the family than I do of my mother's side of the family. Uh, but it's, uh, like it's so easy to see what I carry that is generational in my triggers. Like when I observe or very little times, but whenever I can observe myself being triggered by something in life and if I logically like look at myself and I'm like, I have no reason to be triggered right now.
Like I don't have a logical explanation to why I feel the way that I feel. I always, uh, you know, like attributed to this is a bit deeper. This is like a little bit deeper than my own life experience.
This is like generational. Um, And I can sometimes like spend, you know, like more time with my trigger and figure it out, but I often fail to do so instead I decide to light some villages on fire. Instead, so, you know, it's, it's hard, but it's also the most like secure way to figure out what these people went through.
Because if you talk about it in terms of like biology, there's a really, really good book called It Didn't Start With You and it talks about the biological consequences of like three generations of like genetics.
And like, in all honesty, like it makes perfect sense. Like if a mother is not going to breathe deeply and properly in her pregnancy and have all these like negative things. feelings with like acidic blood, she's going to pass that down to her fetus.
And the fetus is going to have a completely different cycle of growth than if they were in the belly of a mother who nurtured herself, who understood the power of her prana as she's inhaling and exhaling, who chose not to stress herself out throughout and kind of like focus on the pregnancy.
It's completely different, you know. So and like, and like, also, like, we know that the quality of sperm, like depends on the diet of the man. So what were our ancestors eating to create like good quality sperm.
So I feel like, like biologically, there is a lot of evidence that things get passed down. And I do feel and I feel like this is I read this from the book, but I also do feel this as a truth, we can only translate around two to three percent of our genetic code and the rest is untranslatable.
And I think that that's fake. I feel like that is where the memories are passed. This is where the knowledge is passed, you know, like there's this like knowledge to not touch fire. I mean, I don't think that each and every one of us has already been burned by fire to learn this.
I feel like a lot of us would be afraid from like, you know, like an edge of a mountain or a big wave. All of this has to have been past knowledge. But that's just my only thing. They call it junk DNA.
But I also don't believe it's junk DNA. I actually think that I actually think that you have in your DNA code, all the information of the universe and like going back 13 billion years that you have all the information saved inside of you and that you can actually how to say, like turn it on and like fire new, like activate, activate certain DNA epigenetically.
And if you, if you actually heal the trauma, so you basically change your DNA, and the new DNA will be transferred to, to your, to your descendants. And I think it's, it's, I think it's even like, yes, it's on DNA level, I agree with you, but it's also energetically on an energetic level that you have an energetic imprint.
And that, that yes, on one hand, you of course should be breathing and having a good diet and everything. However, if you, I don't know, have a toxic relationship, that you cannot escape it. you know like you just can't even if you're trying to do everything right energetically it will get you like you need to you can't not do 100 percent basically like it needs to come from all the places the healing needs to come from all the places we cannot ignore certain areas of shadows like every shadow needs to be addressed at some point at some point in time yeah i feel like life does uh like give us this opportunity like i like to often get annoyed by how often i get triggered but then i'm like these are all the things that the universe is trying to allow me to heal so that i can tap into my like full potential i actually want to go back to this like idea of uh the like genetic code like being stored within you and you having access to all the knowledge of the universe like in the eight limbs of yoga or raja yoga or the path that people like you know like typically study when they say they're studying yoga in the last step or like samadhi or this idea of bliss and enlightenment it happens obviously after so many other processes of like self -discipline and like yoging or trying to like unite with the one but in this space or like samadhi is when you are uniting like with the one and you have access to all of the knowledge of the universe and the gurus like we're telling us in india that like when you come to this place of stillness and this place of withdrawal of the senses and concentration and true meditation you start to kind of like not even abide by like space and time anymore right because you are closest to the source so you can take and access anything in that source and this is why people let's say when And like, I've noticed this in a lot of the great thinkers that I love and follow and respect that they have very deep and long and grueling like meditation practices, especially before they're about to embark on a new project, because they're trying to access this place in the amygdala, which is, you know, like that place of oneness.
And, you know, how would we access it if it's not already within us, you know, and it makes perfect sense if we are, you know, from the Big Bang, we are the same four molecules as everything else in the universe, why would we not have that, like, original memory, I feel like it's there, it's possible.
And because of that connection is where, you know, like they call it in Islam, in, in fitra, which is the natural state. And the natural state is one that you are very aware of God and his creations.
And I feel like that is where you connect to him and to his knowledge and all the possibilities that he can create. Yes, I agree 10% I just wanted to mention yesterday I actually learned something interesting those seven, seven karmic shadows, this is like this, these are the seven shadows which are passed down as generational trauma.
It's illness, betrayal, abuse, addiction, abandonment, poverty, and violence. That's so interesting. So these are the things you are supposed to kind of work on actively, these are the things which are inducing themselves into like generational trauma because it's so easy to transfer them on every level.
So like I got the alcohol addiction from my mom, I was for 10, 15 years addicted to alcohol. Her dad was addicted to alcohol, although she didn't even grow up with him. So this is something like so you need to break it otherwise you're just going to role model it besides all the genetic information and how much alcohol my genetics got received throughout the years.
But also just as a habit as a role model like me drinking in front of my kids or my mom getting wasted in front of me and although I hated it as a kid, you know, I hated it and still I still did it. And also abandonment.
And sometimes you have like a combo of many of them. And also violence. I mean, it's very kind of very broad, you know, negligence is also violence somehow. Of course. So yeah, these are the seven karmic shadows I learned about yesterday.
From which like school of thought is that the Buddhist path or like, what is it exactly? I mean, she is the, I mean, I watched a YouTube video about it. I would say she's a Mexican witch who comes like a wild woman.
She grew up with her like self -made millionaire grandmother who came from Napa. So she's doing actually family constellations. Have you ever heard about that? I've heard of this concept of like you know like family constellations in India because they do rely heavily on constellation and like astrology but I haven't actually like I have dabbled into my own you know like astrology but not as a whole family I've never I heard about it I heard about it a lot and I've heard very amazing things about it and yesterday I saw it a bit for the first time so I heard about it that you can actually with the group of people you can basically make a family constellation and you say you are gonna be my father you're gonna be my mother you're gonna be my brother and then you suggest the situation where you actually need some closure like you need some closure from someone who is maybe not not there anymore and you didn't get the closure you you want and this is like something which is which is still sits in you and like it needs resolved so because of the morphic field as she says this is something I learned only yesterday also it's like an energetic field I mean I heard about the field so often but I've never heard someone talking someone calling it morphic field so because of the morphic field the people who you pointed to be those family members they suddenly start like magically I heard it so many times they start acting like your family members they start speaking like your family members like to a very very very like creepy intense creepy extent and and you can basically this is when you are physically with the people so you can basically talk to you like to your dead mother or you to your dead father or to or even they don't need to be dead maybe you are just not in a place where you can talk to them you know Like, on a certain level, like, they're just not open to be talking like this, like, you know.
So, so you can just like do it with some, with some friends and then you will receive closure from that. You will receive an effect of, like, how to say the, the, like, peace after that. But she, in the, in the, in the video I watched yesterday, she had a shamanic wheel.
It's like a, basically like a wheel, like, to put that, like, it looks a bit like a board, like a games, game board, you know. And she would throw little figures, like, who represent family members. And the board has four sections, which stand for the four sections of your life.
and then the transmission to adulthood where and then in the middle of the teenage years and then the monopod and the third area, the third area is like the older, your older age and the fourth area is actually kind of the after death, after death and then again life.
So it's a wheel and so from childhood adulthood, old life being dead. So and then based on where these figures land, in the middle you have the present moment and outside you have like mystical area whatever like this.
So based on where these figures land and how they face also that's kind of they, it kind of tells you about where this person stands within the family constellation and what role they inhibit. And I mean she didn't really do it like you couldn't really see how what she said but the YouTuber who made the video said it was very, very, very accurate and she was very skeptical but then she was very surprised about how accurate everything came out and I heard it already many, many times.
I heard actually I was one of the single things which I heard how powerful it is like family constellations already for several times. It's like already the fifth or sixth time I hear about it and so it seems to be a very powerful tool in resolving blockages and because Because it tells you where these people are located within the family constellation.
Because even, for example, your father, I don't know, he's like in his older age, but in his head he's maybe stuck in his childhood because something happened to him in the childhood. And this is why, I don't know, this is why he acts from the point he acts.
So you cannot really in real life tell him, look, you are stuck from when you are six years old. But in the family constellation, you basically can, you know, you can't tell them what you think. And he actually through a parent, he will talk back to you through the person if you're doing it with other people.
However, then like when I go back to my dad now that I had this conversation with this person who is mimicking him. would my father then have the openness that comes after having this conversation on his own?
Like, is it like magic? No, no, no, it's magic basically from your side. Yeah, because you're getting closure. Yeah, you're getting your own closure and this is why it's healing you, right? Yes, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't really have anything to do with your father really, Derrida, because I mean, it will actually heal your father too because your energy will heal your father. Yes, of course. But there is no real exchange because I mean, most of the time there's nothing really to talk about like with your parents in such an old age, they are not really open for these types of feedback.
So no, you don't really talk to him, but you will notice that you will have completely different, a completely different attitude that you're not as triggered, that you're not as frustrated with him, that you're not as heard by his actions and that you simply can like enjoy whatever the last years you have with him, you know?
And honestly, I give you an example, an advice actually for my own life. I was not in a very good terms with my parents throughout my whole twenties. And once you get kids, like it's really, really is important to try to get on like whatever it costs really, like try to get on a level that you can have a proper grandfather, grandmother, grandchildren, family situation because it's very, very, very dressy.
and difficult if you have not healed your relationship to us. I mean, I understand maybe it's not completely possible to heal it like completely, but at least to be on terms where it's pleasant to spend time with each other.
And especially, which is the most important, I think, that the grandparents, they are able, if they can, if they are able to connect to the kids, like to the grandchildren, that they feel that they have their own relationship, that it doesn't come through you, you know, like that it's not monitored by you, like an ego, you know, that it's not missed, that it's not, that you don't bring, how to say, that you don't bring negative energy, basically, into the relationship.
Because It's very important to have this relationship between the old generation and the young generation within the wheel, you know, because it's a wheel of soul through creating basically. And this is why grandparents connect very strongly with the new generation because they're so close on the wheel to each other.
So, so yeah, that's something I can give you as the last, last comment for today. That's so interesting. Like for some reason, I am not having the reaction to it that I would usually have towards like new opportunities for that.
I mean, I have used like Akashic record tapping or like, you know, like someone has actually used the Akashic records for me to be able to speak with my mother after her death. And like time has passed on that.
And I would say that actually tapping into these records for some reason did not have the best benefit in terms of like, allowing me to move forward. In fact, like, I don't know if it's the person who was not really good at Akashic reading or these were the actual results, but they're not results that kind of like, like justify anything beyond like a karmic cycle that needed to be served and like for the right reasons, because as we said in the beginning, like, you know, like no person really awakens into their own, like without really experiencing the darkness.
But I found that just having this understanding that parents or whomever even like wrongs this not even just parents, are literally within that moment, their best possible self. Like I feel like even evil people, when they are like committing evil acts in their own like limited capacity and limited like mental space, they think that this is the best possible outcome for the situation.
So having compassion, like and like really practicing, you know, like compassion in general, like for all living things, right? Because every living thing is suffering in some way or another. But I've developed this like insane compassion for my parents, because one, they were really dealt very harsh cards that they probably did not share the majority of with me.
They had very limited access to knowledge. And they also came from a very limited of the world that is within like their own upbringing. So having compassion to them in that, in whatever way they showed up or did not show up, that was their best, you know, like that honestly was their best possible outcome.
I feel compassion for them because I'm like, if that was the best that you could offer me, like imagine what was going on inside of you. And that is so painful to kind of like, you know, grapple with and understand that, wow, they are or were in deep suffering and they're dealing with a child that is a product of the like circumstances and they are trying to doing their best without any knowledge of how to self -regulate because they didn't pass this one on, right?
So they in themselves do not have a lick of understanding of how to self -regulate, how to soothe, how to take care of their own selves to show up as the best possible. And yet like somehow it's by the grace of God that God's hand was on us the whole time that we came out on the other end, the way that we are.
So it's not just on them to raise us. God also had a huge part in facilitating things that made us, you know, like well -raised, but as their own role as limited beings because at the end of the day, they're just like vessels that are like ships that are allowing the next ship to pass through.
So like just having this understanding for me has completely shifted my understanding of my parents and has given me I guess like an excitement like for the future because I'm like, okay, like, you know, like with this knowledge, I wanna show up for my children in the most compassionate way, in the most honest way.
And then at the same time, I know I'm going to pass down some fuckery. I'm not sure what, but everybody does, right? Like I don't like, I'm not always the best. like dog owner so I doubt I'll always be the best mom you know like I can't I can't always be the best at something so I feel like when I yeah yeah I mean like when I just good enough is good I'm aiming for good enough and actually I think it's fucks you up by by trying to be the best because you're putting too much pressure on it on on yourself however I wanted to tell you because I think it's very relevant for you I started accessing my own Akashic records I'm doing it now since like three weeks and I can I wrote a post about it yeah I can send you the meditations I'm using and it really works very well Honestly, I'm honestly like going to say, mind fucked like of how well it works and how you can really connect and get information.
It's really incredible. Like absolutely incredible. Like I learned so much in the past three weeks, like about my previous lives and about and I'm getting guidance about my current life. And, but honestly, I also like, I kind of have to go to give a word of caution because it's kind of like, you cannot go back, you know, this type of information changes you.
Unfortunately, I need to run now because I'm having a walk with the kids today in the kindergarten. That's awesome. Five minutes. So we will continue this conversation later. We have to continue this for sure.
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